soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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