You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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