He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
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my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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