Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
