i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
