Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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