She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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