Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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