Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
