Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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