No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
