From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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