Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
