And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
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So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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