Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
