well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
