i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
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Shitshow foam night was such a success
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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