He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
