Can i not drive my cunt home
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
