I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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