ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
