You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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