escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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