Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
