worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize