I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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