i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
