His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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