My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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