i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize