miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
