ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize