white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
