honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My ass is underappreciated
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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