dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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