nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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