Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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