Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
