she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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