The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Floor bacon is actually really good
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
