Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
