Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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