U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
