I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
