Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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