This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
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Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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