Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
