One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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