Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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