well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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