i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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