listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
