Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
