All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
