He had one of those small greek statue penises
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
