I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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