they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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