Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
