I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
