we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?