well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dignity is for republicans.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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