my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
